Gorilla Corp Public Notice: Scheduled Celestial Event

2026-01-09 • city, comet, disclaimer

Scheduled Celestial Event (Probable Near Miss)

Gorilla Corp invites all citizens to City to observe a scheduled celestial event.

A comet is expected to pass through our skies in what our scientific partners describe as a probable near miss.

Based on projections, the object should pass by City without incident.

As a purely cautionary measure, Gorilla Corp has completed upgrades to windows and surrounding structures.

These improvements do not indicate increased risk, and should not be taken as a sign of reduced confidence.

Attendance is voluntary and cannot be claimed as work hours.

Disclaimer (Short Version)

Gorilla Corp accepts no responsibility for injuries, debris, structural failure, environmental effects, crowd movement,

or unexpected celestial behavior. Viewing is undertaken entirely at your own risk.

Internal note: “unexpected celestial behavior” is an unusually large umbrella.